Slack Santa - a Christmas Play by Millar
Characters: Santa, Elf Number 1, Elf Number 2
Setting: Santa's lounge
Elf No 1: Santa, Santa, get up, it's midnight in an hour.
Santa: (lying back in a lazy-boy armchair with a beer in his hand) Calm down Elf No 1. Let me just finish my beer.
Elf No 1: Have you checked the Bad and Good List once or even twice? Christmas will be ruined!
Elf No 2: (running into the lounge, breathless, counting off on his fingers) Elf No 1, reindeer are done, sleigh is done, sack is done! And what is wrong with Santa?
Santa: Calm down Elf No 2. Look, I am done. I will check the list twice, that will only take me a day or two.
Elf No 1: (groaning, head in hands)
Elf No 2: (pointing out the window) Look, Santa is off, flying in his sleigh.
Elf No 1: What do you mean, Santa is off? He is right here! (looks out the window) Oh no!
Elf No 2: (looking at Santa) Oh, sorry sir. We dressed up an elf as Santa.
Santa: What do you mean? Is he wearing my stuff? And did he replace me?
Elf No 2: That's right! Guess they couldn't wait all day!
Elf No 1: Oh no! Christmas will be ruined!